I have mixed feelings to start writing again. I mean wow i really not a kind who love to writes but lately i felt that i have lots to express.So I decided I wanna write some more. Be more affectionate with my babyblog. Lol. At some point yeah I'm just lonely and sometimes i'll have desperate day and I'll need something to lash out my frustation. Haaa..
For some odd reason, I walk out today with my roommates taking a fresh air like come on gimmi time to breathe. The room now are way too suffocating for me with tons of books on the table, review papers on bed notes etc.. I just wanna chill out these few hours. LOL its just half n hour give me a break. But that's student life right guys. I'm taking nursing degree this year.Another 4 yrs to completed. I'm seriously not in the right path if u guys ask me how i enter this bizarre world i don't even know. Well i guess luck not on my side this time. Yes I went berserk for a month not able to fitted in here but suddenly the world that's been so UNREAL to me have become a place where i plant my dream. You see, if u know me i'm not that kind of a person who loves to communicate esp with new ppl around me. I'm not a person who easily opened up to someone but when i do I seriously affectionate to them. I'm more into arts n grafic n research more into fashion. I'm like 'hey guys one day imma gonna be a fashion designer, wedding planner etc'. These random thoughts always fills me in.
But this place somehow introduce me to the new life>>>>> The True Meaning Of Life. A place where I become so acquainted with that I even share the pain my patients felt. For sho i'm a newbie here just learning one @ two simplest things on nursing skills but helping others make me realize 'wow, really this simple help that i can offer make ppl touched to bottom of their heart!!'. I'm like 'wow, really I can really opened up with ppl this easily'. It bear me lots of efforts actually. From here, i learn one thing if u have no heart in doing something and no efforts to the things u already hate/not interested in ofc u will drown, u'll felt suffocated.
One day i manage a patient who have 'Brain Abcess'. Maybe i can call him 'H' here. Such a young boy, 18 yrs old younger than me with so much things that a young boy like him can dream of in the future, just lying flat on the bed in his mother hug. If u can see the scene the mother's love beyond anything magnificient in this world.Let go all the 7 Wonders in this world, u'll find that that the teary eyes of a mother who cant even decide whats the best for his son other waiting for a MIRACLE is such a tormenting period. The believe in Miracle by God's will really shake your breathe n get u teary eyed. You wouldn't expect how a surgeon say ' I couldn't proceed the surgery as it'll mean death to your son. We prayed miracle happened with the alternative that we've chosed!'. As a witness, even i felt like a slap on my face when the surgeon made his decison eventho 'H' not my child. I felt my breathe unstable n my eyes went wet. She just calmly replies, ' I believe in your decision.What you think best is best for me and my son too.' Again the whole day that young boy slept in his mother's tight hug. God bless you.
In this profession, i see the great thing in nursing. How we share the patients's pain how we weed together before the surgery how we communicate better among society. This is a profession that i'm proud of. Nurse-to-be Bella. Its intimidating yet such a lovely feelings.
